Last before winter

I've been at the summer house for the final time this year. I needed time to consider the exhibition at Jangva in depth without any distractions and to make some new work. The weather has turned towards winter and last night as I was taking some pictures of the night skies, i could hear the grass crunch under my feet.

The stop motion animation of the night skies, i was intending to make in to a planetarium for the exhibition, has not worked out. The reasons are twofold: The first being the quality of my camera, which is not on its own good enough to capture all that i had hoped for. The second being my fears of the wild. After having heard wolves howling the past few nights i was on guard and tonight while photographing i could hear the howls, then steps and then the breath of the creature. As much as I was humbled by the experience, my nerves were shot and my fear of the gleaming eyes surrounding me gave cause to admit defeat. I would like to say I had more courage, but it would have been a fools courage. Apparently there are limits to what i will do for art. I would like to make this animation a reality one day and i hope to borrow a telescope that connects to my camera: go out and take the images during the dark winter nights preferably with a few friends to keep me company.

I have however had some success during the days, taking photographs and making more stop motion animations of the skies. There has been cloud cover throughout my stay, which only lifted on saturday to give new color to the sleepy landscape. I am particularly happy with my photographs of the river, which glower and glow with a passionate palate.

The funny thing is that I am not at all certain if any of the work i have made this visit will be in the exhibition, but in creating it i have had the chance to ponder what i want this exhibition to be. The previously described colours in my photographs are the mood i wish to create. The ever moving skies and clouds remind me of the fast paced life i want to contrast with the more mythical aspects of my work. Soundscapes of the cold of winter contradicted by the warmth of a sauna, the wind sounding like a crowd at a railway station. These thoughts keep me occupied, as does the immense amount of editing i have ahead of me.

I do not feel calm about the exhibition. I am not even sure I feel hopeful. All I know is that I have to figure out which image I will use for the press release, the invites and the posters. These few days were meant to supply it, but I am still at a loss. I might end up using “the wake” even though i've been told by the gallery that the image is so disturbing that it will not be published by the newspapers. I know it is a strong image and i know it has impact, though i personally don't see the menace others have alluded to. I still have a few days to ponder this conundrum before i have to send things off to print. As for the press images they must be sent off on monday. Perhaps this train ride will give me the answers. It is impossible for me to create an image of the installation and the sound, so no matter what the final choice it will be slightly misleading. I wonder about the ethics of using an image that will not be featured in the show.

I still have a long way to go to get this show on the metaphorical road. I know more or less what the main gallery space will have and what the studio space will hold – the small area between is still a mystery.

During the upcoming week I want to sort out all the images and video from this trip. I will also decide where i am getting the materials for the installation, as well as when and how they will be delivered and see how big of a dent it will make on my finances. So far I am doing ok on that front with the exhibition rent already paid leaving the rest of my money to go towards the work itself. Some people go on holiday to Greece, I it seems buy materials to create a work which in most probability will never sell.