Moving on

 So the exhibition is up and running. Thank goodness, i am exhausted!

There is so much i wish i would still have had time to do, so much i wish i would have been able to portray. I feel like working at the gallery as well as making an exhibition in it clouded my view of the space and if i could start again i would organize the layout in an almost opposite order to what it is now. There is a definite upside to viewing a space through clear objective eyes.

I can't say that i am disappointed, but neither am i fully happy with it either: the work or my own energy to make it. I feel tired and like this project has now come to its inevitable end. I feel like looking at things through new enlightened angles, making work about new subjects. Subjects that are much lighter and brighter something that will balance this sorrow i feel.

I also feel like some introspection is in order and figuring out what to do and what to explore next is still floating at the periphery of my mind. It needs time, i need time. I want more time! In this spirit i have decided that in 2013 i will not be making any big solo exhibitions.

I am also conflicted about if i should say that this is my exhibition when people come in while i'm working. I am not easily recognized in any of the work so it is easy to pretend it is not me. I am hoping to get some honest feed back this way but it also feels a bit crooked in my mind.

Yesterday was my first day working and invigilating the exhibition, it is quite quiet with all the holidays and i hope that this work will get people in to view it and possibly get some coverage through the media. It feels very odd. That much i can say for sure but at least there have been people.

The opening was lovely of what i remember through my sleep deprived haze. By the time the exhibition opened i had had a total of 3 hours of sleep in about 50 hours so i felt quite delirious. Many friends and relatives came which was a delight and the general ambiance was good. I also received some incredible flowers, cards, chocolates and wine.

What i have learned from this experience is that next time i will make sure to better factor in the set-up time allowances.