I've
been at the summer house for the final time this year. I needed time
to consider the exhibition at Jangva in depth without any
distractions and to make some new work. The weather has turned
towards winter and last night as I was taking some pictures of the
night skies, i could hear the grass crunch under my feet.
The stop
motion animation of the night skies, i was intending to make in to a
planetarium for the exhibition, has not worked out. The reasons are
twofold: The first being the quality of my camera, which is not on
its own good enough to capture all that i had hoped for. The second
being my fears of the wild. After having heard wolves howling the
past few nights i was on guard and tonight while photographing i
could hear the howls, then steps and then the breath of the creature.
As much as I was humbled by the experience, my nerves were shot and
my fear of the gleaming eyes surrounding me gave cause to admit
defeat. I would like to say I had more courage, but it would have
been a fools courage. Apparently there are limits to what i will do
for art. I would like to make this animation a reality one day and i
hope to borrow a telescope that connects to my camera: go out and
take the images during the dark winter nights preferably with a few
friends to keep me company.
I have
however had some success during the days, taking photographs and
making more stop motion animations of the skies. There has been cloud
cover throughout my stay, which only lifted on saturday to give new
color to the sleepy landscape. I am particularly happy with my
photographs of the river, which glower and glow with a passionate
palate.
The
funny thing is that I am not at all certain if any of the work i have
made this visit will be in the exhibition, but in creating it i have
had the chance to ponder what i want this exhibition to be. The
previously described colours
in my photographs are the mood i wish to create. The ever moving
skies and clouds remind me of the fast paced life i want to contrast
with the more mythical aspects of my work. Soundscapes of the cold of
winter contradicted by the warmth of a sauna, the wind sounding like
a crowd at a railway station. These thoughts
keep me occupied, as does the immense
amount of editing i have ahead of me.
I do not
feel calm about the exhibition. I am not even sure I feel hopeful.
All I know is that I have to figure out which image I will use for
the press release, the invites and the posters. These few days were
meant to supply it, but I am still at a loss. I might end up using
“the wake” even though i've been told by the gallery that the
image is so disturbing that it will not be published by the
newspapers. I know it is a strong image and i know it has impact,
though i personally don't see the menace others have alluded to. I
still have a few days to ponder this conundrum before i have to send
things off to print. As for the press images they must be sent off on
monday. Perhaps this train ride will give me the answers. It is
impossible for me to create an image of the installation and the
sound, so no matter what the final choice it will be slightly
misleading. I wonder about the ethics of using an image that will not
be featured in the show.
I still
have a long way to go to get this show on the metaphorical road. I
know more or less what the main gallery space will have and what the
studio space will hold – the small area between is still a mystery.
During
the upcoming week I want to sort out all the images and video from
this trip.
I will also decide where i am getting the materials for the
installation, as well as when and how they will be delivered and see
how big of a dent it will make on my finances. So far I am doing ok
on that front with the exhibition rent already paid leaving the rest
of my money to go towards the work itself. Some people go on holiday
to Greece,
I it seems buy materials to create a work which in most probability
will never sell.
