Taking on the new year

Last takeout, 2011

                                                                         

It has been a while since my last blog entry. With the holidays, magazines to edit, music to make, meetings to attend, work and research not to mention another batch of proposal writing, its been a hectic sometimes manic 3-4 weeks. I have also been cigarette and alcohol free since the Jan 1st 2012 and while the alcohol is no issue, the cigarette cravings are ravaging my senses and making me utterly impossible with emotional control. So, a lot more drama then I'm used to in the past week. Its almost like turning back in to a teenager. Uncontrollable urges, rage, confusion and well anything you can think of including total body image craziness and fear that I am in short, a talentless loser. Insane how a little puff of smoke has been a shield in a way. I know it is stupid, but hey that’s what it feels like at the moment.

I have however managed to get a lot of work done, the need to be busy constantly to forget about smoking is definitely like an upper. Eevi and I met up before her trip to Argentina to make some final decisions about the community project we will be doing in the summer in Eno. This means a lot of ground work which needs to get done in the next two months. I will be primarily in charge of getting the people together, sorting out timetables with everyone and doing the preliminary proposal to finance the project which Eevi will then edit, do some mock-ups of what the works might look like and well hopefully, Bobs your uncle and we get funding.

After our meeting where I discussed meeting my mothers uncle, Antti. He is 80 and grew up in Lumivaara on Lake Ladoga (Laatokka) in the republic of Karelia. I began envisioning how the documentary will flow, it is very exciting to get some coherent storyline in to my head and on paper something which has the bones to build meat on. Antti (my great uncle) has a vast amount of photographs from the little island on Ladoga from before the evacuation in to mainland Finland during the war and more stories. It is nice to meet a part of my family which seems to be as interested in storytelling as I am. Antti and his wife Mailis have invited me to their house in Turku for a weekend to look through the photographs, to interview them freely, to ask anything I want and to get to know my somewhat estranged relatives (my grandmother died before I was born and we didn't see much of Antti and his family).

I am having some difficulty in finding video camera equipment good quality enough to rent at a reasonable price and am starting to think that it will in fact be easier, cheaper and also practical for me to buy an HD camera which I can then use for other projects as well. Sound equipment I have found but I do feel I need to find a better quality microphone still. I should be able to rent this through MUU ry.

I sang my second lament in the sauna on Christmas day. It was about the past year and everything that has happened. It felt invigorating, empowering and like the wood that surrounded me hugged and somehow melded with me, forgave me. My next meeting with the members of Äänellä Itkijät ry is on January 22^nd. I hope to be able to better commune with individual members and also to suggest an idea I’ve been brewing for a few weeks now on how to approach the recording process. It would be a way to surround-sound the voices and potentially harmonise the laments be they of the same thing or different.

Morning Stroll

Its been  a long hard couple of weeks. It has been incredibly busy but the main thing that seems to be keeping me down at the moment is this damned weather,lack of sunshine or any light. I'm trying to pump myself full of vitamins to take the edge off and they have helped. Still I often find myself wishing I could hibernate, read a book without thinking about when my next deadline is and when on earth do I have to do this this and this.

On this note I took some time to actually wake up early, 8am I know for most is not that early but for me lately it has been the equivalent of 5am. So I woke up in the total darkness with a full moon still in the sky. I had to force myself to keep my eyes open and to not go back to my oh so inviting bed and curl up for the day. When my eyes adjusted to the dark ( I couldn't turn the light on) I noticed a slight sliver of light on the sea horizon and decided that it was about time I go and greet the sun as it rises. 

So off I went down to the marina and watched on one side the city still under the moonlit sky and on the other a new day dawning. The colours were so deep and lustrous that I couldn't help but be inspired. So these are some photographs from my morning stroll. Not sure I can manage one everyday, but I will certainly make sure I do every now and then. 

Truths that hit "the bosom" (synonym for home)

So, as I sit in this cold gallery pondering how to translate yet another artist statement, I started thinking about how and why it is that we decide to express art through words? Also why not just words, but fancy words that use a lexicon unfamiliar to the greater populace? Why is it that artists feel a certain need to use big words that they obviously have chosen through an on-line thesaurus or dictionary?

Example: The feline aspects in the human psyche, have adapted over the years to form a world where: I follow the intrinsic nuance of captivating transmogrified communication, to form an image I relate to.

Translation = I paint my cat and I do it often; I like cats, but they scare me.

This is not to say I am innocent. I too have a tendency to overwrite and explain my work, in particular my artist statement. In fact, I am re-writing it at the moment and having a hard time remembering, what it was I was thinking about the last time I made a go of it. I think art in general tends to be taken too seriously and overworked in words, to the point where no one, but the artist and possibly the critic who wrote about the work, can comprehend the magnitude of the ideas behind the aforementioned cat painting. I also have a slight pet hate with the word utilize, why can't people just say use? Truly, utilize will not make you sound smarter, it will only make you sound like a snobby twat.

However, I digress, yes I do. I went to get a coffee and looked for an artist’s home phone number, so that a critic could call them to discuss their work, before making up their own opinion on the work he has only just viewed.

So words, meanings and the forever dreaded artist statement. It is a given, that if you ever wish to apply for an exhibition or an arts opportunity you must write about you and your work. The odd thing is, that the chances of actually getting the opportunity you have just applied for, grows exponentially depending on how many snobby art words you have used, not utilized. This, I have a problem with mainly because it excludes artists who do not wish to make their work sound like a freak show. Instead of a bearded lady, one finds a beard that not only proves the existence of god, but implies a postmodernist view on evolution. Perhaps the artist said that I cut off my beard the same way I peel an apple, maybe that should have been good enough and the reader, viewer, arts application reader, could make up their own mind by using some of their own creative vision to fill in the blanks.

So maybe this is the point I have been trying to get to. My issue is not with words, I love words. My issue is with the whoring of words to explain why your metaphorical legs were open for business when you decided to create a new piece of work. Why can't we act as we do with sex, that creating art is a natural process - something to enjoy and something best left unexplained to strangers with fancy words.

Then again what do I know, my artist statements has had the words, interdisciplinary, controlled spontaneity and meditative process in it for years.

LAMENTS

Its been a busy month for me. I've been ploughing through the research with my primary focus on traditional Finnish laments (itkut, itkuvirsi) or crying songs. I went to a lecture on the healing power of laments and was truly touched by the honesty and feeling in the songs. In fact when I got home I wrote my own lament to my grandfather who passed in 2007 and was a big influence in my life. You can view the video of it and though it is in Finnish I think the feeling comes across in the voice.

I've also been lucky enough to have the use of my band mates recording device. It has brilliant sound quality for a small carry recorder and I am hopeful that it might be good enough quality for me to make my actual sound work recordings with it. I recorded the whole lecture on it and though I’ll probably never publish it, the sound itself has been invaluable for my research and notes.

Last week I went for my first visit to the Finnish Folklore Archives, where they house a collection of laments from the mid 1800's to present day. They come in these big boxes with small cards written on a typewriter for each lament. I spent 3,5 hours going through one box and I will hopefully get a chance to put in another 3 hours next week to go through another. There are 5 massive boxes and there is a lot of info. My favourite part was reading the writers notes and observations on these incredible women who sang for them. Many of them sang in old Karelian which, to my delight I could understand quite well and often only sang a song once which made the recording of this oral tradition quite a debacle in the time before recorders.

This weekend I have been invited to the Äänellä Itkijät ry  (official lament singers in Finland) meeting at the home of Pirkko Fihlman. It is the first time I am officially meeting these singers and I have been allowed to do some sound recording and I hope to also take some pictures. Video I will have to leave to a later date as I can't get my hands on a good enough video camera and also considering the nature of Laments I don't want to freak anyone out. I think it will be a good thing to just get to know everyone and build trust.

Pandering or just Pondering

Ok so here is the good news! I have managed to get the brilliant Paula Havaste to agree to be interviewed for my project:) Yay! She is an author who writes books about Finnish peoples around the time the church was making its way in to Finland. They are full of incantations, magic and folklore. I am so excited to have her on board and her expertise will lend the documentary some fantastic material and insight. The interview will not take place till early next year and I am glad to have some time to properly form my questions and perhaps get a better idea of who the documentary part of this project will pan out.

Also had a meeting with Eva-Liisa Orupold with whom I’m doing a project next June in Northern karelia with locals. We discussed strategy and possible outcomes and what we truly want to achieve through the project and how much time it will take to complete. Ideas were tossed about and if nought else we have a good groundwork set up for how to continue from here. We have given ourselves till the end of the year to sort out the project.

Next week I will be attending a seminar on Crying hymns and their healing power. I have managed to get a friend of mine to lend me his brilliant camera for the night in order to shoot some preliminary footage. I do however still need to locate a mic and good recording device before then. This will not be an actual interview or sound recording session but more research. Still I feel its important to get things with as good quality as possible. I also approached MUU ry about their equipment hire and as they are going through some changes at the moment and waiting back on funding applications their equipment store is limited. In other words I may have to find another way to get my recording done.

As for funding I will be sending off another four in the following month two of which must be handed in by by Monday. Hectic days, hectic times. Thank godness for lists.

It's all starting to make sense

The trip to Northern Karelia was amazing; beautiful landscapes, naked trees that glow with early autumn light, storms that turn all the electricity off and leave only the bumming of the wind and flicker of candle light as company. I had time to continue my exploration of old traditions this time through a book about respecting the forest and how still people who come from the other side of the border give thanks through gifts and sacrifice. The knowledge of people who still cultivate their livelihood through natures gifts and see the abuse of lands for pure profit like the making of paper a crime against the old gods.

Music became a way to view the landscape and I began harnessing my own talents as a singer to interpret the autumn. Lyrics and sounds that tell of twirling leaves and of the forest leaning on mountains. The exciting thing is that today I got a call from Pirkko who runs Äänellä Itkijät ry. She invited me to her house next month to get acquainted with other singers of old Karelian crying songs and to one of her lecture on the healing aspects of crying songs. Its all very exciting and as they have given me the opportunity to film and record their work I must make the best of this opportunity. I have about a month to sort out the equipment. I will try to get some of it rented from MUU ry but if I cant I might be able to borrow one from a friend. It's all starting to come together.

This month is going fast, I can't believe how little time there is left. It is getting very busy and I am seriously pondering how I can handle it all. I might have to reconsider my commitment to the band and work on my own priorities for the next few weeks. After October things should settle down with most of the big applications done and sent off awaiting approval. Must believe I will get the grant. I must get the grant!

Bears on my mind

Bears view of me on the dock

Another day, another euro spent. the weather is turning in to a constant drizzle and i find it affects my work. Also the HESA inprint deadline is up and i am trying to curate the newest issue Creation Stories - Luomiskertomuksia. Not as easy as you would think, but i do try my hardest to make it as good as i can. To be honest i should not complain, i really do love doing it, though my procrastination and tumultuous twitter updating would make you think otherwise.

The BIG PROJECT - Kyllä Tunnen Syntymäsi is rolling along nicely with some definates for involvement rolling in. Tomorrow i'm off to Northern Karelia to see the change in seasons and do some preliminary shots of places and visual reaserch for the documentary. Money is tight, but it always is. Luckily, my brilliant boyfriend Thierry is very capable and can make brilliant food with very little money. Thank goodness for the French.

I am currently reading a book called Näkökulmia Karjalaiseen Perinteeseen (Views of Karelian culture) by Pekka Hakamies. Brilliant stuff and surprisingly exciting for a theory book. My plan is to visit a few of the places he mentions (small villages and towns) that have in the past had a large flow of "Russian" Karelians during the war. My mothers side of the family came from some of the islands on Laatokka so it will be intriguing to see how these place differ from the towns that my fathers side of the family came from, near Eno where i've spent more time.

I've started to make some small storyboards for the documentary about its contenuity. I feel reluctant to make it final until i have done more research and seen, interviewed, heard etc more. There has to be some room for pure inspiration in the moment, who knows what kind of wonderful things i can discover.

One thing i am keenly trying to find out is if there is a chance of filming a traditional karhun peijäiset - ritual burial of the bear. I have found some sies that refer to the practice still being done in some parts of the country during hunting season. Last year i actually saw a bear cub in the wild, a scar time but truly awe inspiring, i never actually saw the mama bear, but i heard her. I was so busy sitting still and pondering my best survival strategy that i only realised after how incredibly lucky i was to have seen one of these amazing creatures in the wild.

In other news i am anxiously awaiting news on if i am getting the funding i applied for from the arts council of Finland. Next week i will be sending out other applications to places like the karjalaisen kulttuurin edistämissäätiö - The organisation for Karelian Kulture.