Morning Stroll

Its been  a long hard couple of weeks. It has been incredibly busy but the main thing that seems to be keeping me down at the moment is this damned weather,lack of sunshine or any light. I'm trying to pump myself full of vitamins to take the edge off and they have helped. Still I often find myself wishing I could hibernate, read a book without thinking about when my next deadline is and when on earth do I have to do this this and this.

On this note I took some time to actually wake up early, 8am I know for most is not that early but for me lately it has been the equivalent of 5am. So I woke up in the total darkness with a full moon still in the sky. I had to force myself to keep my eyes open and to not go back to my oh so inviting bed and curl up for the day. When my eyes adjusted to the dark ( I couldn't turn the light on) I noticed a slight sliver of light on the sea horizon and decided that it was about time I go and greet the sun as it rises. 

So off I went down to the marina and watched on one side the city still under the moonlit sky and on the other a new day dawning. The colours were so deep and lustrous that I couldn't help but be inspired. So these are some photographs from my morning stroll. Not sure I can manage one everyday, but I will certainly make sure I do every now and then. 

Truths that hit "the bosom" (synonym for home)

So, as I sit in this cold gallery pondering how to translate yet another artist statement, I started thinking about how and why it is that we decide to express art through words? Also why not just words, but fancy words that use a lexicon unfamiliar to the greater populace? Why is it that artists feel a certain need to use big words that they obviously have chosen through an on-line thesaurus or dictionary?

Example: The feline aspects in the human psyche, have adapted over the years to form a world where: I follow the intrinsic nuance of captivating transmogrified communication, to form an image I relate to.

Translation = I paint my cat and I do it often; I like cats, but they scare me.

This is not to say I am innocent. I too have a tendency to overwrite and explain my work, in particular my artist statement. In fact, I am re-writing it at the moment and having a hard time remembering, what it was I was thinking about the last time I made a go of it. I think art in general tends to be taken too seriously and overworked in words, to the point where no one, but the artist and possibly the critic who wrote about the work, can comprehend the magnitude of the ideas behind the aforementioned cat painting. I also have a slight pet hate with the word utilize, why can't people just say use? Truly, utilize will not make you sound smarter, it will only make you sound like a snobby twat.

However, I digress, yes I do. I went to get a coffee and looked for an artist’s home phone number, so that a critic could call them to discuss their work, before making up their own opinion on the work he has only just viewed.

So words, meanings and the forever dreaded artist statement. It is a given, that if you ever wish to apply for an exhibition or an arts opportunity you must write about you and your work. The odd thing is, that the chances of actually getting the opportunity you have just applied for, grows exponentially depending on how many snobby art words you have used, not utilized. This, I have a problem with mainly because it excludes artists who do not wish to make their work sound like a freak show. Instead of a bearded lady, one finds a beard that not only proves the existence of god, but implies a postmodernist view on evolution. Perhaps the artist said that I cut off my beard the same way I peel an apple, maybe that should have been good enough and the reader, viewer, arts application reader, could make up their own mind by using some of their own creative vision to fill in the blanks.

So maybe this is the point I have been trying to get to. My issue is not with words, I love words. My issue is with the whoring of words to explain why your metaphorical legs were open for business when you decided to create a new piece of work. Why can't we act as we do with sex, that creating art is a natural process - something to enjoy and something best left unexplained to strangers with fancy words.

Then again what do I know, my artist statements has had the words, interdisciplinary, controlled spontaneity and meditative process in it for years.

LAMENTS

Its been a busy month for me. I've been ploughing through the research with my primary focus on traditional Finnish laments (itkut, itkuvirsi) or crying songs. I went to a lecture on the healing power of laments and was truly touched by the honesty and feeling in the songs. In fact when I got home I wrote my own lament to my grandfather who passed in 2007 and was a big influence in my life. You can view the video of it and though it is in Finnish I think the feeling comes across in the voice.

I've also been lucky enough to have the use of my band mates recording device. It has brilliant sound quality for a small carry recorder and I am hopeful that it might be good enough quality for me to make my actual sound work recordings with it. I recorded the whole lecture on it and though I’ll probably never publish it, the sound itself has been invaluable for my research and notes.

Last week I went for my first visit to the Finnish Folklore Archives, where they house a collection of laments from the mid 1800's to present day. They come in these big boxes with small cards written on a typewriter for each lament. I spent 3,5 hours going through one box and I will hopefully get a chance to put in another 3 hours next week to go through another. There are 5 massive boxes and there is a lot of info. My favourite part was reading the writers notes and observations on these incredible women who sang for them. Many of them sang in old Karelian which, to my delight I could understand quite well and often only sang a song once which made the recording of this oral tradition quite a debacle in the time before recorders.

This weekend I have been invited to the Äänellä Itkijät ry  (official lament singers in Finland) meeting at the home of Pirkko Fihlman. It is the first time I am officially meeting these singers and I have been allowed to do some sound recording and I hope to also take some pictures. Video I will have to leave to a later date as I can't get my hands on a good enough video camera and also considering the nature of Laments I don't want to freak anyone out. I think it will be a good thing to just get to know everyone and build trust.

Pandering or just Pondering

Ok so here is the good news! I have managed to get the brilliant Paula Havaste to agree to be interviewed for my project:) Yay! She is an author who writes books about Finnish peoples around the time the church was making its way in to Finland. They are full of incantations, magic and folklore. I am so excited to have her on board and her expertise will lend the documentary some fantastic material and insight. The interview will not take place till early next year and I am glad to have some time to properly form my questions and perhaps get a better idea of who the documentary part of this project will pan out.

Also had a meeting with Eva-Liisa Orupold with whom I’m doing a project next June in Northern karelia with locals. We discussed strategy and possible outcomes and what we truly want to achieve through the project and how much time it will take to complete. Ideas were tossed about and if nought else we have a good groundwork set up for how to continue from here. We have given ourselves till the end of the year to sort out the project.

Next week I will be attending a seminar on Crying hymns and their healing power. I have managed to get a friend of mine to lend me his brilliant camera for the night in order to shoot some preliminary footage. I do however still need to locate a mic and good recording device before then. This will not be an actual interview or sound recording session but more research. Still I feel its important to get things with as good quality as possible. I also approached MUU ry about their equipment hire and as they are going through some changes at the moment and waiting back on funding applications their equipment store is limited. In other words I may have to find another way to get my recording done.

As for funding I will be sending off another four in the following month two of which must be handed in by by Monday. Hectic days, hectic times. Thank godness for lists.

It's all starting to make sense

The trip to Northern Karelia was amazing; beautiful landscapes, naked trees that glow with early autumn light, storms that turn all the electricity off and leave only the bumming of the wind and flicker of candle light as company. I had time to continue my exploration of old traditions this time through a book about respecting the forest and how still people who come from the other side of the border give thanks through gifts and sacrifice. The knowledge of people who still cultivate their livelihood through natures gifts and see the abuse of lands for pure profit like the making of paper a crime against the old gods.

Music became a way to view the landscape and I began harnessing my own talents as a singer to interpret the autumn. Lyrics and sounds that tell of twirling leaves and of the forest leaning on mountains. The exciting thing is that today I got a call from Pirkko who runs Äänellä Itkijät ry. She invited me to her house next month to get acquainted with other singers of old Karelian crying songs and to one of her lecture on the healing aspects of crying songs. Its all very exciting and as they have given me the opportunity to film and record their work I must make the best of this opportunity. I have about a month to sort out the equipment. I will try to get some of it rented from MUU ry but if I cant I might be able to borrow one from a friend. It's all starting to come together.

This month is going fast, I can't believe how little time there is left. It is getting very busy and I am seriously pondering how I can handle it all. I might have to reconsider my commitment to the band and work on my own priorities for the next few weeks. After October things should settle down with most of the big applications done and sent off awaiting approval. Must believe I will get the grant. I must get the grant!

Bears on my mind

Bears view of me on the dock

Another day, another euro spent. the weather is turning in to a constant drizzle and i find it affects my work. Also the HESA inprint deadline is up and i am trying to curate the newest issue Creation Stories - Luomiskertomuksia. Not as easy as you would think, but i do try my hardest to make it as good as i can. To be honest i should not complain, i really do love doing it, though my procrastination and tumultuous twitter updating would make you think otherwise.

The BIG PROJECT - Kyllä Tunnen Syntymäsi is rolling along nicely with some definates for involvement rolling in. Tomorrow i'm off to Northern Karelia to see the change in seasons and do some preliminary shots of places and visual reaserch for the documentary. Money is tight, but it always is. Luckily, my brilliant boyfriend Thierry is very capable and can make brilliant food with very little money. Thank goodness for the French.

I am currently reading a book called Näkökulmia Karjalaiseen Perinteeseen (Views of Karelian culture) by Pekka Hakamies. Brilliant stuff and surprisingly exciting for a theory book. My plan is to visit a few of the places he mentions (small villages and towns) that have in the past had a large flow of "Russian" Karelians during the war. My mothers side of the family came from some of the islands on Laatokka so it will be intriguing to see how these place differ from the towns that my fathers side of the family came from, near Eno where i've spent more time.

I've started to make some small storyboards for the documentary about its contenuity. I feel reluctant to make it final until i have done more research and seen, interviewed, heard etc more. There has to be some room for pure inspiration in the moment, who knows what kind of wonderful things i can discover.

One thing i am keenly trying to find out is if there is a chance of filming a traditional karhun peijäiset - ritual burial of the bear. I have found some sies that refer to the practice still being done in some parts of the country during hunting season. Last year i actually saw a bear cub in the wild, a scar time but truly awe inspiring, i never actually saw the mama bear, but i heard her. I was so busy sitting still and pondering my best survival strategy that i only realised after how incredibly lucky i was to have seen one of these amazing creatures in the wild.

In other news i am anxiously awaiting news on if i am getting the funding i applied for from the arts council of Finland. Next week i will be sending out other applications to places like the karjalaisen kulttuurin edistämissäätiö - The organisation for Karelian Kulture.

re-cap now and then

It has certainly been a long time and I feel like I should round up information on the Road to Nowhere residency. After meeting with Tuija at Louhitalo, I helped Nicola by photographing and videoing her performance Follow the Bear.

By the end it got so busy especially on our arrival back to Helsinki that my inner blogger got a bit squashed. Nicolas performance as Miss Evente went well as did the rest of the Night of the Arts, though personally I feel that there was less of a crowd compared to previous years.

There has also been much conversation and critique on why it is being hosted on a friday. Apparently when it was on a thursday evening people came out and the crowd was more electrified and interested in the happennings. An exciting thing did happen on the night though and which has since come in to being. The band that played in Jangva Gallery - Tristan – was in need of a singer which I have now become. It is fantastic to be singing regularly again and giving my brain and vocal chords a needed push.

The Kyllä Tunnen Syntymäsi (Yes, I know your birth) project is going well and in the next couple of days I will be handing in my first set of grant applications. They were a lot harder to finish possibly because I was writing in Finnish but I am happy to report that there are only a couple more sentences and a proper seperate detailed copy of the budget to be done and printing the pages and well then its all good. So basically am confident it will get done.

Busy busy, climb and chair stuffing

Where does the time go, I ask you! Where?

Well we have hiked at Koli, a wonderful place where the witches of old lived. Did a bit of notes and research on the old religion. Read a few incantations to do with bear killing and watched as the clouds pushed on top of each other making a brilliant almost webbing across the skyline. The images don't do it justice but I could definitely feel the electric friction and power.

Have also done a bit of video. The one displayed just titled Bee is a small, pix-elated version done on the digicamera, but I think the actual dvcam version will look nice. I feel like it might need some composed music to finish the work but I am happy with the vid. Kinda looks like the bee is flying and dancing where in reality it is drowning. Kinda felt bad after for not saving it...ethics, it does come in to play every now and then. Actually Nikki and I had an interesting conversation about ethics in art yesterday...Tricky tricky!

The chair project is also progressing, it has now been stuffed and the Hessian layer to give it a bit more shape control and strength has been finished. Not sure if will have time to upholster it properly but will try. Also still on the agenda are video of the staring contest, a collaborative piece of music video dance and stuff also the emptying out of the out house pee bucket. OH JOY!

Tomorrow morning am going to make myself get up early (before 10am) and just write the damn proposal. At least a good draft of it. I can feel myself getting a bit of stage fright. Also tomorrow I'll be meeting up with a local artist and art museum owner lady called Tuija Hirvonen-Puhakka to discuss art and things so that’s exciting. Much to so still so off I go....

Tu Päälle - Come over me

Today my thoughts have been turning to a possible performance to camera. It uses a lot of mirrors to indirectly video myself having a staring contest with a mirror but indirectly with the camera as well.

I also found a sign that I liked. It reminded me of an old project Tengo las ampollas muy grandes,2006-2008, which I made after walking the Santiago de Compostela. It got me thinking of words and light and thoughts, memories and experiences how they are individualistic and biased. Today it rained: Today is dim.

Almost a week now since we arrived and I have no idea where the time goes. I keep forgetting the day and as long as we manage to get back to Helsinki by the 24th I'm not too bothered. In fact I can feel my body slowly relaxing, unwinding and getting prepared to make some new work.

I am hoping to get a pet project finished while here. It's an old chair from the 40's which my grandfather had in his student flat. It has now been stripped; it was filled with hay and wood shavings, I am amazed it hadn't caught fire in the last 60 odd years. I unscrewed all the legs, or really sawed off the metal bits as they had rusted after so many years of non use. The legs have now been sanded down and re-moistened with some olive oil and hopefully will be ready to attach once the chair has been stuffed and reupholstered. On the same topic I’ve decided to have a go at embroidery. Not my strong suit but I've decided that as long as I enjoy it, it will have been a success.

A few days ago we went to a random art exhibit at Louhitalo called ART TODAY – TÄMÄN PÄIVÄN TAIDE 2011. I was pleasantly surprised to see the quality. Although they did not have the best possible equipment to showcase the work
the actual space and the exhibition was well balanced and thoroughly enjoyable. There were quite a few performance to camera pieces of interest my personal favourites being Karolina Kucia's performance and animation Mesmeralda Marianotavirgin and Hyun Joo Min's Korea -Suomi, Korea – Finland (Olen Suomalainen). There was also a wooden sculpture called Boy (please touch) by Jason Burton, which I must admit to enjoying the touch of.

Next I will strat to properly attack my proposal for a grant as it must get done before next Wednesday.

the truly important!

On 13.08.11 at 3.29 my sister gave birth to the first brand new baby in our family her first born beautiful daughter with lots of dark hair and blue eyes. I feel so happy so much love. so much so much!

I wrote this the night she was born. It is a spell or incantation to help her and welcome her.

Tule Otson tytär
tule kultaisen kuun
kahdeksannen kierron
kolmannentoista yön
tule rakkahin
tähän valoisaan
vanhempiesi hoivaan
lauhkeaan aamuun
tule tähtisen taivaan alla
otavan taittuessa lännestä itään
tule rakkahin lapsi
tule omiesi lomaan
muista kantaneesi syke
anna sen vaivuttaa sinut lepoon
anna sen nostaa sinut rinnalle
ja maistella maitoo
ota isäsi sormi pieneen
nyrkkis oteen
ota rauhaisa maa
tunne mystisen kuun voima
tule luoksemme Otseon tytär
tule rakkaittesi luo.

In to the wild: Baby, mushroom, lake, forest, life!

Two days in. Forest, sauna and just the body relaxing and getting recharged. We've done some mushroom picking (some proved poisonous after rigorous checking in books) and redcurrants have come off the bush and been put in to some pies:) yum yum.



Saw this random Eau de cologne machine in a public toilet near a fleamarket and thought it looked interesting and also had a bit of a danger as an element mainly as the spray was at eye level. Thoughts, colours, danger and beauty. Intoxicating.



We have also been playing the game Life.. brilliant fun and there really are no losers.

Clearing the skies and the slate

Well the decision has been taken away from me. For good or bad, I cant say. The group show has fallen through. I'm oddly not disappointed, which probably means I wasn't that happy with the work to be in it in the first place. It seems that this stuff happens every now and then and I have decided to not ponder it through too much and just continue with new projects.
Nicola (Miss Evénte) arrives tomorrow. I'm so excited to get to see her again and to make some exciting new work! Tonight I’m going to an opening at the gallery I work and hopefully making a few new contacts. You never know who might show up!
To do list today still includes writing a newsletter to accompany the HESA inprint magazines newest edition due to be online latest tomorrow. Very exciting stuff, very cool work to view.
As for project 'Yes I know your Birth', research is getting super interesting. I'm learning new spells to cast and understanding more and more about the meditative process that goes in to one. I think I’ll have a go at writing a few myself.

Lightning, Rain and Rendering a video

Ok , so here I go. It might as well be now, its half past one at night. The beginning is always the hardest. It is like writing that first page in an expensive notebook: Intimidating!

It's odd getting back in to writing, of keeping even a semblance of a coherent thread running through my creative life. I suppose that is the reason for this progress blog. A reason to reason things out. (as if on cue lightning just lit the skies)

Background may be needed but I wont go back too far. In fact I wont go back at all. this is where I’m at now. I work in a gallery, I run and edit a magazine http://www.hesainprint.com with my partner Thierry and friend Kaisa. I am going on a residency (self-made) in eastern Finland this Friday with my friend Nicola and we shall soak up nature and make some work together. Eat, drink, sauna and art!

I'm pondering giving up smoking, I'm becoming a godmother and at some point in between I am trying to get some funding sorted out for the mag, for myself and another HUSH HUSH project. I've also got a solo exhibition coming up in 2012 which requires a mass amount of research and some special technical skills I have yet to learn and another group exhibition in about a month, which is why I’m still burning the midnight oil.

All in all very busy, slightly sporadically insane and hopeful that one day there will be time to sleep and just read a book. Something easy, something simple with a good mystery or two.

Tomorrow I will decide if I can make my installation for the group exhibition, if I can then I shall be building an altar. if not then I’ll just cross my fingers and hope the vid will be enough.

DVD has burnt now, so its time to get back to the work.

Kyllä tunnen syntymäsi